March 10, 2002

Putting Away

1 Corinthians 5

Those of you that have been here for the last couple weeks are aware that we have been doing a series of sermons on the prodigal son, and I had planned to continue that series today. But a very sad thing has happened that none of us had expected, and today will be a very different sort of service. For those of you that have not been attending here all that long, something has come up that needs to be dealt with.

This is not what we planned for, or wanted, it is an unusual situation, and a very sad one, but it is something that needs tending to. We have been spending the last several weeks studying the parable of the prodigal son. Now it suddenly seems that one of our own has gone off to a far country, and we need to think about what we need to do about it. But before I start on that; For the benefit of those who may not know, Steve Norris is an elder in the church, we have worked with this situation in the past, and we spent several hours yesterday discussing it. We are agreed on what to do and how to do it, but because I'm the pastor, I have to talk, and he gets to sit.

Back in September, I challenged the congregation with this question; "What should the church do about a church member within the local assembly that goes off into gross sinful behavior?"

If there is someone in the assembly who is a member; and when I say member- that means that they have covenanted and solemnly declared that they desired to join this church, to abide by it's scriptural guidelines, to live a sober, righteous and Godly lifestyle, and to guard the honor of the church. If someone has covenanted with us to conduct themselves in a Godly fashion and then they turn and sin wilfully, brazenly, and continuously until it has become obvious to everybody; - what should the church do about it?

The church should look to see what the Bible says about that sort of situation, and that is what we are about to do. It grieves me to tell you that ***** has turned away from following Christ and has gone off into a very unChristian lifestyle.

What I want us to be very clear about this morning is that we are in an unusual situation, and I want all of us to see from the Bible, what the Bible says we are supposed to do about it. This is not the time for my opinion, or your opinion, it is time to see what the Bible says. What does God say?

Some of you don't know *****, he has attended here for a number of years, and up until last spring, he seemed very interested in a fine young lady who attends here, whom most of us know. I mention this only to point out that this young lady has conducted herself without reproach through out this whole thing. She has maintained a good Christian testimony.

Four years ago, Barbara and I heard ***** tell us how he got saved at a young age. He attended church here faithfully, seemed spiritually aware, and seemed to be living an acceptable lifestyle. ***** was accepted and had a number of friends here. He frequently ate lunch at our house after church and he was included in all the things that everybody else here did. He requested church membership and was accepted. He liked to be the center of attention, and he frequently did outrageous things to attract attention to himself. But that was OK, he was just being *****.

Last spring, he broke off his relationship with the young lady and began to act strangely, he began spending his time hanging around and keeping company with homosexuals. As a pastor, a lot of people come and talk to me confidentially, and I keep confidential whatever they tell me. Elder Steve Norris also knows the details of this particular situation, but that also stays confidential.

Suffice to say that ***** behavior this last year has been a series of sinful sexual misbehaviors, ongoing sexual misconduct, sinful conduct, and five different people of the church have admonished him many times concerning his lifestyle, trying to help him. He has been challenged and counseled on a number of occasions by myself, by Steve and others, and he has always assured his counselors that things were getting better, and that he had put his sinful behavior behind him. This has proven to be untrue.

***** hasn't been around for about six months. This last Wednesday he called me up and asked me if I would meet him at a restaurant in Johnson City because he wanted to talk to me, and I said sure. When he showed up at the restaurant, it was obvious that ***** had made a break with his past and was starting over. The person who sat down across from me, - well anyone who did not know us would think that some older man was having lunch with a young woman. ***** asked me what I thought of the new appearance. I told him I was sad.

We talked for over an hour. I tried to get him to see that he was on a dead end street. I wasn't mad at *****, and I didn't go off at him. I was grieved, because I have lived long enough and been around enough to know that the time will come that he will have a lot of regrets.

I will not reveal what was said, other than to convey to you what ***** asked to do regarding the church. He said that God has given him peace about his new lifestyle, but he wants to come back to the church because he misses his friends and because he said he misses the preaching. He wanted to know if it would cause any problems if he came here dressed as a girl. I told him no way. That's not acceptable.

He wanted to know if he could come back dressed normally and acting normally. I told him I didn't know if that would be acceptable. Maybe. Probably not. He wanted to know if his friends or the people at church would want to see him. I told him I didn't know. Quite frankly, I was at such a loss, I wasn't sure what to say. This is not something I have any experience in, and probably could have handled it better.

Since then, I have gotten somewhat over the shock, thought about it, prayed about it and talked to Steve about it. Essentially, what ***** wants is to live his life as he sees fit, to deceive himself that God approves of whatever his lifestyle might be, and along with that, to have the acceptance and approval of his friends and the church. I can understand how someone who is mentally and emotionally out of touch with reality might want to do such a thing, but as Christians, we have to go by what the Bible says, not by confused or irrational thinking, and not ignore sin.

God does have something to say about situations such as this, and now would be a good time for us to see what they are. Turn to 1 Corinthians 6 and verse 9: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind," -notice that four out of five of those vices are sexual in nature, and in the original Greek language, they all have homosexual implications-
Verse 10: "Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
:11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God."

The Bible is pointing out here that some people might have acted this way before they got saved, perhaps a person who is not a Christian might behave this way, but a person who is washed in the blood of Jesus Christ is not that kind of person any more. A person who is sanctified by the Holy Spirit, justified in the name of Jesus and by the Holy Spirit is changed, they will not go off and live that kind of lifestyle. If a person claims to be a Christian, but there is an ongoing pattern of major sinful behavior, then is it reasonable to ask if that person is actually saved? Or are they just kidding themselves and the people around them?

Perhaps this would be a good time to mention that within the last few years, our society, our culture has changed. When I was in High School, homosexuality was against the law in every state. In many states it was a felony. It had been like that for 200 years. Homosexuality had been illegal in the United States since this country first became a country. Within the last twenty years the laws have been changed, and many of our cultural standards have changed. But God's laws have not changed. Back in Leviticus 18, 3,400 years ago, God set forth His standards of sexual behavior, and God's standards have not changed. Those are the standards that we will go by.

Turn to Colossians 3 and verse 5: "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience."

Every one of those activities that the Bible mentions there, in the Greek language it refers to the sort of activity you would find in a pornographic magazine, so I don't think I need to explain them. What is happening is, God is pointing out that people who live this kind of lifestyle are not His children, they are children of disobedience, unsaved people, people who have never been born again. Whether a person is saved or not is between them and God, but when there is an ongoing pattern of wilful sinful behavior in a person who claims to be a Christian, then it is reasonable to ask the question: "What's wrong with this picture?" Probably a very simple answer: they need to get saved.

A lot of people think they have been born again, a lot of people think that things are cool between them and God, but are they really? Do people tend to believe what they want to believe? Anybody here ever talk yourself into something just because you wanted it real bad? More than once? It happens spiritually too. I think we need to pray for ***** to get saved. And we also need to help him understand that God loves him and that we love him too, even now, and that we want to do something to help him get free from the sin that he is wrapped up in.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 5, Paul tells us, as a church, what to do. He deals with what to do about a person in the church who is caught up in sexual sin. Would you turn to that chapter please? 1 Corinthians 5. Beginning in verse 1, he tells us: "It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife."

The occasion here in Corinth was the sexual sin of incest, but the principle is the same. It was a question of how to deal with a serious sexual sin, so this passage pertains to our situation here today. Verse 2: "And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you." That has a very somber meaning. You'll see why in a minute.

Verse 3: "For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed,
:4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
:5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." The person is given over to physical chastisement from the devil, in order that it might lead them to be truly converted. God uses the devil to discipline them so that it will lead them to repentance and salvation.

Verse 6: "Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?" Just like a little yeast in a big lump of dough, sin in one part of the church will work it's way through all the church, if it's not grubbed out. When there is sin in the congregation, and that sin is ignored; when the people of the church just sort of look the other way, then it changes the character of the whole church, and God cannot bless that kind of a church. Not to mention that I don't think God would approve of the leadership of that kind of church, and I don't think Steve or I either one wants to find out how God would deal with elders who ignore sin in the church.

Verse 7: "Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:
:8 Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth."

Paul is making the point here that just as unleavened bread is yeast free, we ought to at least make it our goal, our intention to live lives that are as sin-free as possible.
We also expect that the other believers in our congregation are not going to be casually sinful, or indifferent about sin in their lives, much less go off in pursuit of an actively sinful lifestyle. That is why it is in our church covenant that we watch over each other, we warn and admonish each other, we seek to walk soberly, righteously and Godly in this world. That we seek to guard the honor of the church. ***** requested to join this church and willingly agreed to that covenant.

Verse 9: "I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:
:10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
:11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother - meaning somebody that has professed to be a Christian - if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat."

We are getting ready to have a fellowship meal here in a little while. Would you sit and eat and act normally with someone who was under church discipline? Give them the impression that things are really OK after all? The elders have pulled their membership, but really it's no big deal? Or would you go and sit somewhere else? That sounds really harsh, doesn't it? It might even make enough of an impression on them to keep them from going to hell.

Verse 12: "For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?" He is saying that the church should not meddle in the lives of those who are outside the church. Let the world take care of the world. But there is such a thing as church discipline for those who profess to be Christians.

Verse 13: "But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person." When there is someone in the church who is engaged in wilful, persistent sin and it has become known, it is the responsibility of their local congregation to deal with it. I realize that it is very common for people to say that no one should judge someone else, or that "we should not judge people." Excuse me? What did we just read in verses 12 and 13?

Anybody that has been around this assembly for any time knows that we are not legalistic, we are not a rules and regulations church, we are not hung up on dotting I's and crossing T's. But when it happens that something comes to a head, God says to us: "You better deal with it. Clean it up." If there is no repentance, if there is no correction, if restoration doesn't seem to be happening, then that person should be removed from the church.

In our congregation, it is the responsibility of the elders to judge open, flagrant sin in the church, to deal with the persons involved, and help them see that a sinful lifestyle is unacceptable. Our goal is to try to get that person to see what they are doing, see where they are going, get them to turn themselves around and be restored into a holy, healthy lifestyle. If they will not listen, if nothing changes, if that person is determined to go on in their sin, then that person is to be put out of the church, and as verse 13 says, God will judge them.

That judgement is explained in verse 5, where God withdraws His hand of protection and allows Satan access to that person, with the result being that Satan will attack their physical health. God uses the local church assembly as a sort of spiritual shield, and those under it are under God's protection. God uses the local church as a place of safety, security, protection and blessing. When a person chooses to depart from that place of blessing and protection by rebelling against God, and by continually going after sin, then they get put out from under that shield of protection. That is why God says to put away from among yourselves a wicked person. You deliver them from the safety and security of the church into an area where there is no protection. They are delivered over to Satan so that they can learn a hard lesson.

The goal is restoration. A year after Paul wrote his first letter to the church at Corinth, he wrote them again, that is our letter of 2nd Corinthians. In 2nd Corinthians chapter 2, in the first 8 verses, Paul tells the church at Corinth to receive back the person that they had previously put out. Apparently the discipline had accomplished it's intended work, and the person had repented and turned from his sin. Apparently he had deeply mourned his sin, the discipline did what it was supposed to do.

That is what we are asking God to do here. Because the goal is restoration. The only purpose for strong medicine is because sometimes that's what it takes for healing.
There comes a time when the church has done all it can do, friends have done all they can do, counseling and teaching has done all it can do; and then God says: "Let them go." It is a means to an end. God will take it from here. As Dale says; some cars can get their shocks replaced at Sears, some can get their timing belts replaced at Precision Tune. But sometimes the problem is bigger than any of the local shops can deal with, and they need to go back to the manufacturer. Sometimes that happens in churches too.

Obviously this is an extremely unpleasant occasion for all of us here, perhaps some would ask the question: "Why was this not done discreetly, privately and without publicity, because this is kind of an awkward deal?" Two reasons. First: if there has been a fundamental change in the relationship between ***** and the church; and the church members don't know what or why, or what is expected, or what the goal is, and they happen to meet *****, how will they reinforce to him the idea that things have changed, and that church discipline is a reality? And if the concept of discipline is lost, then how will the concept of restoration from discipline come into play?

The second reason: because 1 Timothy 5:20 tells us: "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear." On the few occasions in this church when something had to be dealt with, it has always been handled privately, discreetly, and in ways that would not embarrass anybody. Anything that needed to be resolved since I've been here these last several years was resolved behind closed doors. That is as it should be. This is different situation. This is the first time that there has been no repentance. That changes things.

Somebody has already asked me the question: "We might have visitors sitting and listening to all this, we might have someone who was looking for a church, and what will they think of our church now?" In Ephesians chapter 4, we are told not to be like little children, deceived by following after every kind of church teaching, or crafty leaders, or deceptions, but instead we are to speak the truth in love, and grow up into the maturity that is in Christ. Speaking the truth in love.

If you are looking for a politically correct church that specializes in warm fuzzy feelings, at the expense of truth and reality, you would probably not be happy here anyway. If you are looking for a church that seeks to be like God's concept of a church family, loving each other, caring for each other, and even having to apply discipline when the Bible says it's required; then what has happened here today isn't going to scare you off.

This has been a very hard time for me, for my wife, and for a number of other people. When Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, they were proud of themselves because they were so open minded, they were politically correct, they thought that having a great liberal attitude about that man and his incestuous relationship was something to be proud of.

Paul tells them not to be proud of being that kind of open minded congregation, he tells them "you need to mourn instead." Because you are about to suffer a loss. You are about to lose someone that you thought was family. Someone that you thought was a brother is going away, - like the prodigal son, - to a far country. And that's how I have felt since Thursday. I have felt like I was in mourning. Barbara has told me that she felt like she was in mourning. I feel like I have lost a relative. I feel like something has been taken away from me, and away from this church, and I don't like it.

***** is no longer a member of this church. I don't like that. I don't like having to say that. But that's the way it is. Maybe that's why we have been studying the prodigal son these last several weeks. Because this church now has a prodigal son of it's own. He has left, he is going to a far country, and all we can do now is wait for him to come to himself in the hog pen. He isn't there yet. He is apparently having a great time. His day in the hog pen is still future.

So now we need to ask ourselves a question: if the day arrives when he would come to his senses there in the hog pen, and want to come home, will he find us like that father in the parable: - watching? When the prodigal son came to himself and headed home, he realized that he had sinned against heaven and against his family, and he repented. That was required of him before he could start back. That is what we are hoping for in this situation.

Then what would happen next? When he got within sight of home, he found that his father was watching for him and welcomed him back. That speaks to us. If God should lead him to repentance and recovery from where he is and where he is going, will we be watching for his return? I talked to ***** Friday, and I told him that if he ever decided to come back, the door was open. Not on his terms, but on God's terms. I told him that I was his friend, and that he could call me anytime.

I don't know where *****'s prodigal behavior will lead him before he finds himself in his own personal hog pen, that's between him and God. But when the time comes - and I trust that it will- when he lifts up his eyes to heaven and realizes what's happened, if God lifts him up and he gets turned around, I trust that he will discover that some of us never left off praying for him, and watching for him to be coming home.

I would like us to spend a few minutes in prayer for ***** and for this church, and then I would like us to spend just a minute on the question: "Where do we go from here?" ***** had a couple especially faithful friends who spent a lot of time encouraging him and trying to restore him back to where he needed to be. Dale, would you pray for ***** and for this church, and then Mark, would you also pray for ***** and for this church.

One last thing before we finish. This is not a suitable topic for gossip. It is an occasion for mourning, not for public consumption. If one of our members had died, how would we deal with it? Because there is a sense in which - that is kind of what our situation is like.

As far as where do we go from here - after having a situation like this, I asked the Lord if He had anything to tell us, anything to be an encouragement to His people in a time like this, and immediately I was directed to the Lord's words to one of the seven churches in the book of Revelation. The church at Philadelphia was the church of brotherly love, and historically, it was a church of revival. Let me just read to you what the Lord told those Christians.

"... These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth;
I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name." (Rev 3:7-8)

On this day, we have kept the Word of the Lord. We have done what His Word tells us to do. We have made it our priority to uphold the honor and glory of His name more than to worry about what people might think. As long as we continue to keep His Word and be true to His name, we can continue to look for His blessing, His provision, and His grace to make us into the kind of people He wants us to be.

We can continue to look to God to show us how to shut doors when it's time to shut them, and how to open them back up when the time comes for that. We can look for him to do marvelous things, maybe even open the eyes of prodigal sons in hog pens, and give them a fresh start. Right now we want to ask Him for the wisdom and the compassion to do whatever He wants us to do in the days ahead. To be faithful and true to Him in the days to come.

Let's pray.