May 12, 2002

Raising Godly Children

2nd Timothy

Since today is mother's day, I would bet that in thousands of churches all over the country, thousands of preachers are preaching about the Proverbs 31 woman. Any of you in here familiar with the Proverbs 31 woman? Starting in Proverbs 31 verse 10, it talks about "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies" and then continues for another 20 verses to give us a role model of an excellent woman.
A perfect sermon topic for mother's day. But that's not where we are going today. We are going to look at some other mothers, and even more important, the kind of results they produced.

The apostle Paul made three missionary journeys across the middle east, the first one through Syria and Turkey, the second and third ones through Syria, Turkey, and Greece. On all three journeys, he stopped at a city in Turkey called Lystra, where he led people to Christ, and started a church. There was a woman at that church who had a son named Timothy. And because that woman had raised a godly son, she helped change the world.

What I would like for us to do here today is to see what happens when a godly parent, a parent with difficulties, a parent with challenges, a parent who trusts God; what they can accomplish, when they raise their child according to what the Bible teaches.
If you have your Bibles with you today, and I hope you do, turn to Acts 16 and verse 1.
" Then came he (Paul) to Derbe and Lystra: and, behold, a certain disciple was there, named Timotheus, -Timothy- the son of a certain woman, which was a Jewess, and believed; but his father was a Greek:
:2 Which was well reported of by the brethren that were at Lystra and Iconium.
:3 Him would Paul have to go forth with him; and took and circumcised him because of the Jews which were in those quarters: for they knew all that his father was a Greek."

In that church was a woman named Eunice. She had a Greek husband, and while the Bible does not give as many details about them as we would like, nonetheless I'm going to try and read between the lines here, forgive me if I indulge in some sanctified speculation. I suspect that Eunice was in many ways, a frustrated woman, but in other ways, a very blessed woman. She was a Jewish woman with a Greek husband, and apparently he was not very sympathetic towards her religion.

There was a large Jewish population in Lystra, but Timothy had never been circumcised according to the Jewish law. That tells me that Eunice's husband didn't much care about her religious beliefs. The fact that Paul felt it necessary to have Timothy circumcised tells me that Eunice's husband was insensitive to any social or cultural problems that he might be causing her, or causing his son Timothy. Paul felt that those potential cultural problems were important, but apparently Timothy's father didn't care, and hadn't taught Timothy to care. The Bible never mentions that Timothy's father was a believer, so I suspect that Eunice didn't get much help from her husband in the spiritual instruction of her son. But she did get some help.

Turn to 2nd Timothy chapter one, verse 1. Paul's second letter to Timothy is full of all kinds of practical instructions, but mostly, I want us to see what Timothy was like, and why. How was he raised?
What was he taught, that made him a good Christian? That is something that all of us here today; mothers, fathers, even those of us without kids, we all need to know that.
Verse 1: "Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus,
:2 To Timothy, my dearly beloved son:" Paul was obviously very close to Timothy, Timothy had become just like a son to him.
Skip to verse 5: "When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also."
Paul recognizes in Timothy a genuine faith, and he identifies where it comes from. Timothy's grandmother Lois got saved first, and then his mother got saved, and then he got saved. The faith of a parent makes a difference. Especially when the child sees that it's the real thing.

It was about five or six years between the time that Paul first went through Lystra preaching the gospel, and the second time that he came through Lystra. On that second trip, he identified Timothy as someone that he wanted to have come with him and help him in his work. How did it happen that Timothy was able to become spiritually mature so quickly? Turn to chapter 3 and verse 14: "But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;
:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
:17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works."

>From the time that Timothy was a little child, his mother had taught him the Bible, in his case the Old Testament Scriptures, so that when he was presented with the gospel of Jesus Christ, when he got saved, he had a solid foundation to build his faith on. Even though his mother did not have the most ideal situation at home, even though I believe she did not get any cooperation from her husband, she was still able to teach young Timothy the Bible, and it paid off.

There are all kinds of ways for parents to teach their children about God's Word. One of the things we did when our kids were little, was that every night for bedtime, we read Keys for Kids. A little short 3 or 4 minute story with a Bible verse, and an application, and our family enjoyed doing that. I encourage everyone with children to avail themselves of that resource, we have some old ones up here for you to look at after the service. Check them out, order them, they are not expensive.

Timothy's mother had some challenges, and in this congregation we also have some single parents here, both moms and dads. You have extra challenges and difficulties, but you already know about that. What matters is that you can be successful at parenting. Timothy is an example of a young person who grows up into a godly leader when only one parent is devoted to that goal. Maybe you are going it alone, maybe things are less than ideal, hang in there anyway. If God can enable a Jewish mother in Turkey to do a good job, He can just as well enable you to do a good job.

Even though Eunice didn't have much help from her husband, she did have some good help, her own mother Lois, some older help. Then there was Paul: Paul was an old man, Timothy was a young man, but there was a closeness, a rapport. They got along, it worked. God used it, and that same kind of help from the old to the young is still available today, and God still wants to use it.

Sometimes I see advertisements that try to play on the idea of a generation gap, that there is supposed to be a sort of distrust or dislike between older people and younger people. That is so bad. I like young people, I like teenagers and kids, sometimes I can even remember when I used to do the same things that they are doing now. It's a shame we can't communicate better with our kids, maybe we ought to be more open with them, and then maybe they'd listen better.

Maybe if our kids understood that most of the time we really are just trying to help them avoid the same stupid mistakes we made. Maybe if we could convince them; "Don't do that, I tried it, and it doesn't work."
And then they say: "Oh, yeah? What happened when you tried it?"
"I'm too embarrassed to tell you, see if you can get somebody that you don't like to try it, and then you'll know why."
Then they'll come back and say: "So that's what you did? HAHHH!" But that's OK. You'll get over it.

Young people, anybody: if your parents are too embarrassed to tell you what you really want to know, go talk to somebody older. If you really want to know the truth, you have to talk to people that are the right age. Age changes things a lot: for instance - young teenagers are slaves of peer pressure. At the mall rat stage, teenagers want independence, but they are terrified of being different, so they act like clones.
Then they get to college age, and they escape from part of that level of peer pressure slavery, but there is no wisdom yet. Then comes married life and respectability, and a whole different stage of conforming. You now have to own at least one white car, preferably a four door sedan.
But then finally comes the age of liberation, your kids move out, you retire, you have finally started to figure out how the world works, and within certain limits, it really doesn't matter what other people think. I love it.

The young and the old have the potential to share and gain a great deal from each other, and it's not even really necessary that they be relatives. It's great when it is, but it's not a requirement. God wants wisdom passed along from the old to the young, that's the way He intended it, and we all need to take advantage of it. Lois and Eunice and Paul and Timothy took advantage of it, and Timothy turned out to be a man greatly used of God.

Parents, and any of us that are older, we need to talk to our kids and young people more. And instead of telling them what we think they need to hear, maybe we ought to just give it to them straight, as straight as their age and maturity can handle, and leave out the flavorings. Maybe if we did that sort of thing more often, told it straight without the flavorings, the preaching; they would be more interested in listening.

What were some of the things that Paul thought were important, things that Timothy had learned from his mom, things that needed reinforcing? Well, it looks like peer pressure might have been a problem to Timothy then, just like it is to our young people today. Look at chapter 1, verse 8. "Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;"

Timothy was a Jew who had trusted Jesus Christ as his Messiah, that would have put him on the outs with many of his hometown Jewish neighbors. Negative peer pressure. And then his teacher Paul was in prison, that was probably not the easiest thing to have to explain to the people you were trying to win to Christ. That's why Paul tells him in verse 16 of his friend Onesiphorus, he wasn't ashamed of Paul's being in chains, and Timothy shouldn't be ashamed either. Why was he ashamed? Who knows? Possibly Timothy had some issues that needed to be sorted out, so what? Every one of us does too. Maybe you have some young person that looks up to you, and they are shy or hesitant to tell others about Jesus. Not really ashamed, but almost. Maybe you can be a Paul to them. Strengthen them. Encourage them.

Jesus Christ said that He would be a stumbling stone and a rock of offense, unbelievers have been tripping over Jesus, stubbing their toes on Him and cursing Him for two thousand years, and it won't quit anytime soon, that was His intention. It's part of the game plan. If you are a believer and your Christianity is stumbling someone or tripping them up, just be sure it is because of their resistance to the gospel, and not because of something you ought to be ashamed of.

Paul also tells Timothy that he needs to be a partaker of the problems that come along with the preaching of the gospel, because that is a part of how God puts His power into the preaching. Look at chapter 1 and verse 6: "Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands."

The Holy Spirit had given special gifts to the church in the person of Timothy, God had singled him out for a special purpose, God was planning to use him to build up the church, but Timothy was in danger of slacking up, of letting his spiritual fire cool off. One of my favorite things to do every Thanksgiving is to cook a smoked turkey. I get out the old metal smoker, fill this galvanized metal pan up with charcoal, put it down in the bottom of the smoker, light it, and let `er rip. But after a while, the heat starts to die down. The pan is still mostly full of red hot charcoals, but they are all covered with ash, and that makes them insulated, the heat is not getting out, and I need to stir them up. Get the poker in there and work the coals around until the ash is on the bottom, and all the coals are on top, and then things start cooking again.
Sometimes that is what needs to happen with us. God has given each of us a gift for the church, each of us has something that this church needs, and that gift needs to be stirred up.

A healthy, normal church is not a one man ministry, a healthy New Testament church has 100% of God's spiritual gifts for that church disbursed, spread out - throughout all - 100% of the members. Keep your place here and turn over to Ephesians 4:7, we need to sidetrack for a minute and consider Paul's words to Timothy about what the gift of God means to us.
"But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ.
:8 Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, -the resurrection- he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men." Spiritual gifts, and those gifts are placed into various people, skip to verse 11:
"And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
:12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying -or building up- of the body of Christ:
:13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
:14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
:16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love."

Over in 1st Corinthians 12, -don't bother to turn there- the whole chapter is given over to spiritual gifts, and their exercise in the church, but there is not time for that today, perhaps that would be a good topic for a Wednesday night Bible study.

The point is, Paul is encouraging Timothy to stir up the gift that is in him, and I want to encourage each of you to stir up your spiritual gifts. The local church body is a collection of gifts, and those gifts are found in all the various members of that local church body. I don't have all those gifts, you don't have all those gifts, each of us have one or two different ones, and for this to be a healthy church, each and all of us need to be using our various gifts.

If you always kept an earplug in one ear, and an eyepatch over one eye, and always kept nose plugs over your nostrils and breathed through your mouth instead; if you only used one hand, and just stood on one foot, you could manage, you could get by, sort of, but why would you want to? This local church is one example of the body of Christ, and often I feel like the one eye, one hand, one foot bit is the way we are doing things here. Parts of this body are not doing anything at all, for whatever the reason. And yet the body is still working, it is not even sick, but it sure could be a lot more efficient and comfortable. And it sure could get a lot more done. 1st Corinthians chapter 12. Read it. Think about it.

And if you are currently sitting on the sidelines, you need to get into the game. Jesus expects all of us to dress out for every game, and He expects all of us to play. Nobody needs to be going home with a clean uniform. End of rabbit trail.

The next thing that Paul reminds Timothy, is that life is not easy, he needs to be strong, turn back to 2nd Timothy, chapter 2 and verse 1:
"Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.
:2 And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.
:3 Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
:4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier."

What is our attitude toward life? Is it that life is basically supposed to be one long party? Miller Time all the time? He who dies with the most toys wins? Because if we are anywhere close to that attitude, how will teach our young people what Paul is telling Timothy here? They are going to look at us, and our stuff, and our comfortable, materialistic oriented goals, and say: "Yeah, right." Your lifestyle will determine your credibility.

In verse 2, there is a responsibility to be faithful and pass truth on to others. There is a chain of faithfulness and commitment. It is handed along from one to the next. It is not always easy. That is why we need to be strong in the grace of Christ. That is why we are compared to soldiers, verse 3:
If you were going into a life or death battle, would you want a soldier next to you that was soft, or would you want one that was as hard as a rock? Would you want to be soft yourself, or would you want to be lean and mean?
How about verse 4, if you were going into battle, would you want to be carrying a pack with 5 extra pairs of slacks, a cappuccino machine, your Nintendo, a boom box, and a Bar-B-Que grill? Of course not.
Would you want to be in command of a squad of soldiers that were going into battle carrying all that junk?

But Jesus Christ is the Captain of the Host of the Lord, and how many of us are trying to serve Him: and meantime we are filling our packs with all the entanglements than we can carry?

Not just stuff, but time thieves. What are you doing that is stealing your time? Time for the important things in your life? Time for your kids? Time for Jesus and His Word? Time well spent? "No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life." Loading yourself down with too much material stuff will do it, but beware the entanglements. Obligations. Business. People and things that really don't concern you. Trivial things that take up your time and thoughts. Time thieves. You and Jesus be the ones to set your priorities, don't let the things that entangle you do it for you.

Verse 5: "And if a man also strive for masteries, yet is he not crowned, except he strive lawfully."
I heard just this last week that those Olympic judges that slanted the results in the pairs figure skating last winter got expelled because of it. The Olympics back then were probably a much bigger deal than they are now, and cheating back then was just as much a big deal then as it is now. Paul knew about the Olympic games, and he uses that as an illustration that if you cheat, you won't win the crown, no matter how hard you might try otherwise. The same thing is true in the Christian life: the end does not justify the means. You don't get the crown if you don't play fair.

Not only are we all like soldiers, we are also all like athletes, and we need to play by the rules. We need to be fair and honest, not just for our own sake, but also for the sake of any young people who might be looking up to us. All of us are probably a role model to somebody, or else we will be someday. So we need to be real sure that young people see the real deal, and since we can never be sure when those little eyes might be watching, that means we need to be consistent. We need to be the real deal all the time, not just when we might think we are being watched.

And then finally, in verse 6, Paul tells Timothy "The husbandman that laboureth must be first partaker of the fruits." This is one of those Greek phrases that can be understood two ways. One meaning is that the laborer who does the work gets the results first. The other meaning is that before he gets the results of his labor, he has to work for it. And both are true.

Whether it be a soldier, an athlete, or a farmer, first comes the hard work, then comes the rewards. First comes the trial, then comes the rest. All three must first deny themself and suffer, and then the reward comes later. The soldier must deny himself the pleasures of the world and risk injury or even death. The athlete must train and watch his diet, suffer long hours of physical work to get his body in shape, and then submit himself to the rules exactly, or be disqualified. The farmer has to work long hours doing drudgerous work out in the hot sun or the wind and rain, or else there will be no crop.

In all three cases, the hard part comes first, gratification comes later. In our culture today, it is usually the other way around. We need to beware of expecting instant gratification for ourselves, we need to practice hanging in there for the long haul and not quit when the going gets rough. Because once again, not only is that the way real life is, but there are probably little eyes watching, and they need to learn the truth. They need to learn that there really is no such thing as instant gratification.

How often do we see worthwhile tasks get started and then abandoned, because the person doing them never learned that instant gratification is a lie, and the reality is that worthwhile things take a lot of long, hard work? Relationships that don't last, people that go from one situation to the next, one half done project to the next, because they never learned that good results require hard work, and lots of time?

How about the other meaning of this verse, that the farmer that does the work ought to be the first one to partake of the fruits? Even this has two meanings. Wouldn't it be sad if a pastor or Bible teacher was talking about things that were only theories, or words in a book, and there had never been any first hand, personal experience with them?

Can you imagine a farmer going out and working for months in a field if he had never eaten any corn? Or working for months in an orchard if he had never eaten any fruit? Working for months growing a vineyard if he had never tasted a grape? What would be his motivation? You have to know something first hand about what you are preaching or teaching. If you have no personal experience in the things of God, then you are not prepared to teach others about them. A minister of God ought to have experienced something of the grace of God, exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, have a first hand knowledge of it before he starts to preach it or teach it to others. Just like a farmer who knows what grapes taste like is the one who ought to be planting a grapevine; a minister of God ought to have tasted the grace of God. That is one meaning.

The other meaning is that those who minister the things of God ought to be supported in turn by those whom they nourish. If there is any spiritual fruit coming forth within a congregation, then that congregation ought to meet the needs of that minister. Receiving of the fruits of his labor.

Timothy was being challenged to work hard, be faithful, not be ashamed of Paul or the Gospel, and to remember what his mother and grandmother had taught him. He was young, but just like that farmer; he should expect others to care for his material needs as he cared for their spiritual needs.

Timothy had some health problems, he had a tendency to be a little shy or reluctant to be as bold and un ashamed as he might have been, but he got the job done. Paul was delighted to call him "my dearly beloved son," just as if Timothy was his own child. Timothy had a less than ideal upbringing, but he turned out good anyway. His mother had a less than ideal home situation, but she was very successful as a mother, her son turned out to be a winner, any way you figure it.

All of us have challenges, some of us as mothers, some of us as fathers, some of us as trying to help others, there is a world of people that need help, and all of us can be helpers.

Don't worry about what you don't have, don't worry about what's not there, don't fret about the negatives. Timothy was a was a good example that none of those things mattered; his mother trusted God, and God honored that trust. God doesn't change: if He could do it for Eunice and Timothy, He can do it for you and me. And He will. Let's pray.