October 13, 2002

The Freedom of Forgiveness

2 Cor. 2:6-11

Did you ever give yourself a present? Did you ever give yourself a gift? Well, let me suggest that sometimes we get ourselves into situations, as Christians, where we really need to give ourselves a wonderful gift, and that is the gift of forgiveness. Forgiving others, and freeing yourself.

Last June I preached a sermon on forgiving and forgiveness, but it is such a worthwhile topic that I wanted to do it again, and do it this time from a little bit different perspective. I wanted to do it this time from the perspective that forgiveness is not just something that sets the other person free, that blesses the other person, but it sets you free as well. A blessing that you give yourself.

Something that I want all of us to see today is that there is a freedom in forgiveness, a freedom in what happens to us, a freedom that happens in us when we resolve hurts and injuries according to how God does things. When we forgive others as God forgives us, then we free ourselves from a real spiritual bondage.

If you have your Bibles with you today, and I hope you do, turn with me to 2nd Corinthians 2 and verse 6. Paul had written to the church at Corinth the year previously, because there was a serious problem in that church. There was a Christian man involved in the sin of incest, and Paul had told the church to discipline that man by putting him out of the church. As a result of the discipline, the man repented, he genuinely turned from his sin. Now it is a year later, and Paul tells the church how to show forgiveness, and that is where we pick up here, in verse 6: "Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many.
:7 So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.
:8 Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him.
:9 For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things.
:10 To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ;
:11 Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices."

The purpose of discipline is reformation, the purpose of chastisement is to get the sinner to recognize that he needs to stop and turn around. Once the chastisement has had the proper effect, then it's the church that needs to turn around, chastisement quits, and it's time to begin restoration.

Paul tells the church at Corinth to forgive this person and comfort him. We can assume that the man in question had probably come around to the point where he had gotten rid of the woman that used to be his father's wife, and that he was probably humiliated that he had messed up his testimony, that he had made his church an occasion for public gossip, and probably causing scornful remarks to other Christians from the local heathens. There were probably Christians in that church who were still upset with him for damaging the church's testimony, but Paul never mentions that, he tells them that it is time to comfort and heal this repentant person.

Comfort him. Don't be reminding him that he messed up, don't be going back and digging up his past, using his sin as an occasion to put him down or make unkind remarks, you comfort him. When God puts away your sins, He doesn't keep them in a scrap book to play "Gotcha" with you whenever you mess up, He puts them away. He chooses not to remember them any more. That is our example, that is our role model. We treat that repenting person the way God treats us.

And the reason why, as Paul says, is to prevent that person from being swallowed up by overmuch sorrow. Although it is not explicitly set out in the text, we can reasonably say that if the church had not forgiven and comforted this man, eventually he would have ended up a sorrowful and bitter person.

Failure to forgive or receive forgiveness can, and frequently does, bring about bitterness. Every once in a while you meet a bitter Christian. Such things should not be. A bitter Christian is contrary to God's plans and purposes. Bitterness is the exact opposite of what Christians ought to be. Christians are promised the peace, joy and love of the Holy Spirit, and that is the opposite of bitterness.

Here in this passage we have an occasion where a heavy discipline needed to be applied, and now that it has done it's work, the church has to turn around, do a 180, or else it will start to have an unchristian effect on this person. Things will become counterproductive, unchristian. And the way that things get turned around is by forgiving and comforting. When God forgave us for Christ's sake, that was what set us free. And when we forgive each other for Christ's sake, we set each other free.

Up to this point we have been using an example of a person who was correctly disciplined and then needed to be forgiven and restored. This is a corporate church situation and this is pretty easy to understand.

Let's also consider forgiveness on a more personal level, a one on one thing. Forgiving someone else when you are the grieved party, maybe they owe it to you to restore you and make you whole, make things right for you, and you don't get it. You didn't do anything wrong, all you got was the dirty end of the stick, the raw deal, jerked around big time. Something wicked happened, and you got stuck with it. And nobody did anything to comfort you. Then you need to deal with it in a way that will keep you from becoming bitter.

And the same thing that heals others is the thing that heals you; forgiveness. Forgiveness frees us from bitterness. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness. And you can't afford to have any of it in your life, both for your sake, and for the sake of others. Because bitterness is never solitary, bitterness in a person is like an infectious disease, it always affects others, it affects the people around you.

Hebrews 12:15 tells us: "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;" Bitterness in you defiles other people, bitterness in other people defiles the people around them.

Bitterness is like an odor or a stench, when you spend time around a bitter person and then come away, you take some of that smell with you. When you are around a bitter person, it is almost impossible not to be somewhat affected by that person, and it is always negative. And you don't ever want to be the bitter person that defiles the others around you.

Bitterness is contrary to the grace of God, it is a grief to the Holy Spirit. When we allow ourselves to get bitter, then it is impossible for the Holy Spirit to use us for His purposes as He would like. When we are bitter; we grieve the Holy Spirit, we frustrate Him from using us to do the things for Jesus that we should be doing. If any of you have ever had to deal with bitterness in your spirit about something, you know from experience how things get, and you know how frustrating it is to you, and how it is a grief to God.
It puts your Christian life on hold, you are just about useless to yourself, and when God wants something done, He will probably need to choose somebody else.

Bitterness puts you in bondage. Bitterness puts you in bondage to your past, something that happened last month, or last year, or back years ago, whatever, it doesn't matter how long ago it was, while you are bitter, you are still in bondage to your history.

Bitterness allows something from your past to take control of your present, and now you have become a slave to your past. Bitterness because of some past injury does this to you. Bondage is not freedom. Slavery is not freedom. Bitterness is not freedom. Forgiveness is what sets you free from that bondage. Forgiveness is what sets you free from bitterness. When you get to the point that you can forgive that injury, forgive the person who injured you, then you release yourself from that bondage to your past.

Stop and think about it; offenses are almost always past tense. Evils and injuries that were done to you are almost always past tense, they happened at some point in time, but if they are not happening now, then they don't need to control you. You don't need to be controlled by your past.

Depending on what it was that happened, maybe there still needs to be some restoration to make things right, but the point is, you don't want that past injury or offense to be a source of present bitterness in your life, because it's history. Don't let the past control your present or your future. And bitterness inside you will control your present and your future. That's no good. When you exercise forgiveness toward the one that hurt you, then bitterness loses it's control over you. Forgiveness will deliver you from bitterness.

Forgiveness lets you take those things that are past and keep them past, keep them history, so that you don't have to keep bringing them back up and rehashing them, chewing them over and over like a cow with some bitter cud. You can devote your attention to something better, you don't have to be stuck with rechewing that same bitter meal day in and day out. Bitterness makes a poor meal, and it doesn't get any better the more you eat it.

There is another aspect to forgiveness that goes right along with this, and that is; when you forgive someone that has hurt you, when you forgive someone that has afflicted you, you release yourself from their control over you. Maybe one of you in here has had to deal with someone who had a very domineering spirit. They controlled your life, they made you miserable, they ran you around in circles and nothing you could do would please them. Your life was miserable, and even though that person is not around now, even though that person is no longer present in your life, they still dominate your thoughts and emotions. Because you are bitter against them.

Isn't that a shame? They gave you a fit, they treated you bad, and you wanted nothing better than to get out, get away. And you did. But now you suddenly realize that even though you have gotten free, it seems that you have brought them with you. Your bitterness against them still dominates your spirit. You are still in bondage, you are still not free because you are bitter against them.

Until you can forgive them for whatever it was, you will remain in bondage to them. Until you let the mind of Christ be in you, let the mind of Christ in you forgive them just as Jesus has forgiven you, you will not find your freedom.

When the Lord taught His disciples "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" it was not just for doctrinal or theological reasons, it was for emotional and psychological reasons as well. When we don't forgive those who trespass against us, when we let ourselves carry that hurt around and brood over it and get bitter, it affects us in every part of our being; physical and emotional as well as spiritual.

As long as we allow bitterness to keep us stuck in bondage to the one that has trespassed against us, we are not free to choose where we will go or what we will do, or even what we think about in the days ahead. A person in bondage is not free in his thoughts or actions, and when bitterness has us in bondage to someone else, then they are still a mental ball and chain that ties us to them, and our future is narrowed to that extent.

Forgiveness breaks that chain and sets us free from that bondage, we are no longer held back, suddenly there are a lot more options open to us. When you forgive that one who has offended you, then you liberate yourself from them, you become free to choose your own course, you are free to determine your own life, your own directions.

There is another aspect to forgiveness that frees you up, and that is the freedom of not having to sit in judgement on that person, and also, of not having to judge others in general. Bitterness ties you into judging what somebody else is doing and why they are doing it, what their motives are, all that whole mess; because your bitterness tangles up your emotions; "What are they doing? Why are they doing that? Well, I don't think I like it"

You don't need that. Judging others is not my responsibility, and it's not your responsibility, but when we have been injured and offended and there has not been forgiveness, then bitterness keeps us analyzing, and scrutinizing, and rehashing and all that mess that gives us a judgmental attitude. That is not our responsibility, that is God's responsibility. He doesn't need our help, and He even tells us to keep our noses out of it. But when we don't forgive, and there is bitterness; and then we get involved in something that we aren't supposed to be involved in.

When you do that judgmental thing, all you do is add to your own stress level, you just add to your own emotional workload, because now you are doing something that you are not supposed to be doing.

Have you started to notice something in all this? Have you started to notice who it is that benefits the most when you forgive someone else? Is it them? No, it is you. The one who benefits the most when you forgive someone else is you. Isn't that amazing? That almost sounds like some sort of miraculous plan that God might think of doing... Amazing!

What happens when we don't forgive? Obviously we don't get all those neat emotional and psychological benefits that we just mentioned, but what else? Well, how about if refusing to forgive makes you a hypocrite?

Remember the story that Jesus told in Matthew about the man who owed the king ten thousand talents? He couldn't pay, and he begged and pleaded with the king so the king forgave him? And then that same man turned around to someone who owed him a hundred pence and told him to pay up; and when he couldn't pay, he had him put in prison.

Ten thousand talents is roughly equal to nine million, six hundred thousand dollars. One hundred pence is about sixteen dollars.

Jesus tells us that before we refuse to forgive someone for the nickel and dime things they offend us with, we need to remember that God has forgiven us for a lot more than we can ever imagine. When we refuse to forgive others, then it shows us up for the hypocrites that we really are, because we refuse to forgive others for something, when we want God to forgive us for everything.

If you are a Christian, then you understand that what you want from God is not justice but mercy. You don't want what you deserve, what you want is grace. OK, then you need to be willing to give that same privilege to others.

Do they deserve grace? Do they deserve mercy? Probably not, but then you and I don't either. The point is; if you want forgiveness, then you ought to be willing to give forgiveness.

Most of last month's sermons were about prayer, and that ties right in with this same concept of forgiveness versus hypocrisy: when we refuse to forgive the one who has offended us, then we jeopardize our own answers to prayer.

When Jesus taught his disciples the Lord's Prayer, right in there at the conclusion of His instructions on how to pray, He told them in Matthew 6:14 "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Mat 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Also, in Mark's gospel, when Jesus teaches His disciples how to pray, He tells them in Mark 11:25 "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."

These are tricky passages. It almost makes it seem as if something that we do or fail to do determines whether we get saved or not. And we know salvation is not by our works, salvation is always by grace through faith in Christ's atonement for us, and nothing we do. Or don't do.

Since we know that God forgives us our trespasses on the basis of Christ's death on the cross for us and not because of our works, then we would have to say that having a forgiving spirit, being willing to forgive others, must be a characteristic of being a genuine Christian.

When we get saved, when we are given the Holy Spirit to indwell us at our salvation, one of the things that He brings with Him is grace, that willingness to forgive. God brings it with Him when He comes to indwell us. So it ought to become one of our attributes, it ought to be one of those spiritual fruits that we manifest as part of our normal Christian life. Therefore a person who cannot or will not forgive is either backslidden, or else they are calling their own conversion into question.

And since Jesus ties this instruction about forgiving into His same instructions about how to pray, then I believe that a person who will not forgive is not going to get the answers to prayer that they want.

Not only that, in 2nd Corinthians 2:11, Paul ties in our lack of forgiveness with a lack of success in our spiritual warfare. "Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices."
When we refuse to forgive someone, we provide Satan with a foothold to get an advantage over us, we provide him with an opportunity to gain ground in our lives. And that makes perfect sense, because as we hinder the working of the Holy Spirit in ourselves, and as our bitterness has a negative effect on other Christians around us, that gives Satan more room to maneuver, more freedom to mess with us and mess us around. Is the devil wearing you out? Maybe that's why: because of your unforgiveness.

When we fail to forgive others, what kind of an example are we setting for new Christians? What kind of example are we setting for our kids?

When new Christians are looking at us, if we are acting just like the heathens in the world around us, angry, unforgiving, bitter, what kind of a role model is that? How will that help them to grow in the faith? Is that anything that they need to be looking up to?

And your kids? They are always watching you. What you do or don't do will determine to a great extent what they do or don't do. Do you want your children to have a forgiving spirit? Do you want them to have a gracious spirit? Do you want them to have a Christlike spirit? Then they need to be seeing one in you. That does not necessarily guarantee how your kids will turn out, but it is a great place to start. Amen?

When we fail to forgive others, we also hinder the progress of the gospel. We hinder the work of the church in the world. Several reasons why this is true; one reason is that we are not the kind of useful tool that the Lord can use, let me give you an example: Did you ever try to use a wrench to take something apart, and the wrench was greasy and nasty and slippery; what a pain! The job gets more aggravating when the tool is inconvenient. Sometimes I think that's how the Lord looks at bitter, unforgiving Christians. Not His favorite tool in His spiritual tool box.

When you are trying to work or get something accomplished, and the person who is supposedly helping you, working alongside you has a bitter spirit, what does that do to your efficiency? It doesn't help, does it? It is way too easy for that bitter spirit to become contagious, and then there are two crabs working together, and then you have strife.

And the world will see it. The world will take notice of it, and it will hinder your testimony. Because even if the world doesn't know Christ, it still seems to have a pretty accurate idea what real Christians are supposed to look like, and bitterness is not part of that picture. Bitterness messes up your testimony. And the world will pick up on it just about every time, it is too obvious a thing to hide.

Quick review: when you forgive someone else, who is the person who benefits the most? You do. Normally it will also benefit others, or maybe they are too unconscious to even know what is going on, but either way it's still going to have an effect upon you.

Forgiveness sets you free from the bondage of bitterness. It is a way to release yourself from that bondage of what someone else has done to you.

Forgiveness sets you free from grieving the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness sets you free from being dominated by your history, by things that are past. You are free to go into your future without dragging that old ball and chain of bitterness around with you.

Forgiveness frees you from people that might have dominated your past. It cuts your emotional bondage ties to them. As long as that person remains unforgiven, you are still tied to them by what they did to you.
Forgiveness also cuts your spiritual bondage to that person. Just as forgiveness toward them releases you from emotional bondage, it also releases you from spiritual bondage.

Forgiveness allows you to determine your own course for your life without the negative influence of bitterness toward someone else.

Finally, forgiveness frees you from sitting in judgement on others. Judgement is not something that you were ever intended to be doing, that is something God does, not you. Sitting in judgement over other people because of your bitter spirit just adds to your stress level, and you don't need that.

Finally, are there any preconditions to forgiveness? Is there something that needs to happen first?

There are several places in the Bible where forgiveness comes because someone asked for it. In Luke 17:3 the Lord tells us: "Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him."

Here we see that sometimes we forgive someone because they ask us to. Other times we forgive them even when they don't ask. Or don't care. When the Lord was crucified, it tells us in Luke 23:33 "And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.
:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do..."

How many of those present that day asked for forgiveness? The thief on the cross, maybe the Roman centurion. Maybe two. But Jesus was forgiving toward all of them. Even though they didn't ask for it.
That tells me that sometimes we can forgive those who don't even ask for our forgiveness. Maybe they don't have a clue; we forgive them anyway.

What will that do about their attitude or actions toward us? Maybe nothing. What will it do for us? Maybe move us a little bit closer to being more like Jesus.

I started this sermon out by telling you that perhaps the best gift you could give yourself was the gift of forgiveness, forgiving someone else.

Setting yourself free. Cutting the bonds that hold you back from where God wants you. Is there someone that you need to forgive today? If God is speaking to you today, and there is someone you need to forgive; some situation that you need to give over to the Lord, why not come down to the altar and do it today? Do it for Jesus. Do it for yourself.